A girlfriend is the new side chick. Until he puts a ring on it, his relationship status is “available”. His phone has girls texting him. His DM has girls sending pictures. He is keeping his options open. Stop giving marriage loyalty to boyfriends. #EbrahimAseem Stop doing permanent things for temporary people. This isn’t all men, only inconsistent men.
A ring won’t make him change. If he’s not ALREADY being the consistent fully faithfully commitment man you deserve, who wraps his consistency around your loyalty, like a ring around a finger, why the hell is he your “boyfriend”? Don’t be loyal to complacency.
If you’re not married, you’re single. There’s no “talking” or “Bae” or “girlfriend” option on a job application. It goes (1) take her on dates. (2) Court her. (3) Propose to her. (4) Marry her. If you give him all your loyalty before he gives you all his commitment, he has no incentive to ever commit to you. #EbrahimAseem Require him to court you. A girlFRIEND is just that to a man. A friend. Ask me you trust & they’ll tell you.
Before committing to an inconsistent man, require at least one of these:
1. His phone, to view in full with him one time.
2. The full names of all his EXs, with an explanation of why it ended.
3. His Instagram password changed to your name.
If he can’t provide full transparency, don’t provide him with full loyalty. #EbrahimAseem And if you can’t do the same for him, you’re not as “loyal” as you think you are. It’s not about “trust issues” it’s about transparency & reassurance. #EbrahimAseem A loyal person welcomes opportunities to prove their loyalty & reassure your doubts. But a guilty person will never let you see all the evidence in their phone.
You’re not wasting your time. You’re playing house & giving your boyfriend ‘husband privileges’ while he’s denying you ‘wife commitment’. #EbrahimAseem He texts other girls, some of which want a future with him just like you. You & his side chicks are basically teammates & he’s the player, dribbling your hearts, playing all of you. Think I’m lying? Ask to see his phone right now. Don’t worry, I’ll wait. See, if none of you have his hand in marriage, you’re all on the same level to him, until he marries one of you. #EbrahimAseem
Guys feel they’re either married or single. If you’re loyal to an unmarried man, he’s not “cheating” on you by dating other women. He’s behaving single, while you’re playing house.
Loyalty is a reciprocal action. If you’re loyal to an inconsistent man who has not let all other women know he has faithfully committed to you only, you are DISloyal to your own self worth.
He can be on the phone telling you he loves you, while laying in another woman’s bed. Cuddling her & their secret child you don’t even know about, because you didn’t investigate his previous relationships. If you give him marriage level loyalty before he makes his intentions for a future with you know by consistent actions, he has no incentive to marry you. Make consistency a prerequisite to your loyalty.
Some girls will say, “well married men do the same thing.” No. If a man can’t marry his monogamy to your loyalty, & stop flirting with Instamodels in his phone, that “boy” is NOT your “husband”. Y’all are just roommates. Don’t downgrade ALL MARRIAGE just because you’ve yet to experience a man of valor wrap his consistency around your loyalty like a ring around a finger.
Inconsistency is a turn off to me. Don’t be all over me one minute & distant the next. I’m loyal to effort & actions, not empty ass promises.
A genuine woman appreciates & ONLY gives loyalty to a consistent man who encourages her growth. Now, just because she won’t “chase” you, does not mean she doesn’t like you. #EbrahimAseem Pursue her. Be patient. Show her with consistency her flaws can’t scare you away & she will let go her guarded wall for you.
I’ve had women push me away saying “Ebrahim, you deserve better than I can give. I’ve been hurt so much. I’ve this guarded wall up. I can’t give you all you deserve.” My response.
“You give me peace. Let me give you what you never got yet always deserved, someone to be patient w/ your flaws & understanding of your past without judgement. #EbrahimAseem
I’m in love w/ your eyes. Addicted to viewing your soul thru them. I wanna know your story. All you’ve survived. Pain you bottle up inside. #EbrahimAseem I want to be your stability & peace.”
Never push away love you deserve, because you feel too flawed. Never give loyalty to quickly, feeling you are asking too much, because you’re not enough. To the right one, you’re enough. You’re everything.