The Woman Wrote —
I had sex with a second cousin—our mothers are first cousins—a few years ago. We were not raised together. We had only ever met twice.
Then we wound up “hanging out” for a week or so. Had sex several times. We swore it was a one-time deal and that we would never to tell anyone. A couple months later I moved across the country and married someone else.
Well, a couple years have passed, I’m getting divorced, and I’ve moved back to the area. Now we are talking a lot and both want to meet back up and fuck a lot more. Problem is… he cares more than I do if family finds out. Or at least he says he does. I adore him. He’s an asshole but at least he’s honest about it. Also there are a bunch of other problems with the relationship. But… on a physical level, he has everything I’ve ever wanted and never had in a partner.
TBH I never stopped thinking about him even while I was married. (Nothing to do with the divorce, I swear.)
I don’t know where this is going but I do know that we are family and will always be in each other’s lives. I know it may make problems for us in future relationships. Or maybe we will just keep doing this. I don’t know. I feel drawn to him in a way that i can’t explain. I am very conflicted. Should I be doing this? Not just because the cousin thing… but all the other complications? A semi-large age difference. I’m mid divorce and probably need to just, I don’t know, be alone and learn to be ok with being alone.
I always wanted to be with someone way bigger than me. My exes have all been little guys. Either short or really skinny. And never much taller than me. And I’ve accepted them because “love.” My cousin is like 6’6″ and 275 pounds. He is really big. In a super delicious way. And honestly I could list about half a dozen reasons why we definitely should not be in a relationship which I have not mentioned. Can you help me out here? I need clarity, what I have is fog.
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